Going to the cinema is a great experience and here in Newcastle we are lucky enough to have two wonderful cinemas right in the centre of town. To clarify, when I say going to the cinema is a great experience, I speak for the majority of cinema visits, which tend to pass without any notable incidences.
There is rarely a better place to watch a film then a packed auditorium; whether everyone is laughing at jokes, gasping in horror, sitting in stunned silence or having a little cry when it all gets too much.
However, every film fan and cinema-goer will have suffered, possibly a multitude of times, a trip to the cinema that has been spoiled or at least soured by someone who simply doesn’t know how to behave in a cinema. It just takes one to disturb the peace and unfortunately there are rarely ushers around to scold misbehaving patrons. A phone is the most common tool of mischief, everyone has one and some even feel the need to use it during a film. The powerful backlit screen can illuminate even the gloomiest of auditoriums, a bright beacon telling everyone that you are a selfish annoyance – and that’s putting it mildly, keeping it PG and all.
With Empire cinemas as well as BBC Radio 5 Live (under the eye of Mark Kermode & Simon Mayo) creating their own code of conducts, it seems The Courier is missing out. It’s time to remedy that fact with these 7 golden rules:
1. NO mobile phone usage. No explanation needed, just no.
2. NO talking. Discuss and theorise after the credits have rolled please.
3. NO noisy eating or rustling. Soft rolls are ideal and big rustle-tastic crisp bags are forbidden.
4. NO acts which usually precede the cry of “Get a room”. You know.
5. NO feet on the seats and no kicking of aforementioned seats. It gets real annoying.
6. NO shoe removal. It shouldn’t need to be said but unfortunately it does. Do it at home only.
7. NO Slurping. There is no need to noisily slurp the ice remnants at the bottom of a 5 litre Pepsitankard.