Editor’s Column #7

17 Mar

Going to the cinema is a great experience and  here in Newcastle we are lucky enough to have two wonderful cinemas right in the centre of town. To clarify, when I say going to the cinema is a great experience, I speak for the majority of cinema visits, which tend to pass without any notable incidences.

There is rarely a better place to watch a film then a packed auditorium; whether everyone is laughing at jokes, gasping in horror, sitting in stunned silence or having a little cry when it all gets too much.

cinema

However, every film fan and cinema-goer will have suffered, possibly a multitude of times, a trip to the cinema that has been spoiled or at least soured by someone who simply doesn’t know how to behave in a cinema. It just takes one to disturb the peace and unfortunately there are rarely ushers around to scold misbehaving patrons. A phone is the most common tool of mischief, everyone has one and some even feel the need to use it during a film. The powerful backlit screen can illuminate even the gloomiest of auditoriums, a bright beacon telling everyone that you are a selfish annoyance – and that’s putting it mildly, keeping it PG and all.

With Empire cinemas as well as BBC Radio 5 Live (under the eye of Mark Kermode & Simon Mayo) creating their own code of conducts, it seems The Courier is missing out. It’s time to remedy that fact with  these 7 golden rules:

1. NO mobile phone usage. No explanation needed, just no.

#OutofSightOutofMind

2. NO talking. Discuss and theorise after the credits have rolled please.

#CommentaryIsOnTheDVD

3. NO noisy eating or rustling. Soft rolls are ideal and big rustle-tastic crisp bags are forbidden.

#CinemaNotCineMUNCH

4. NO acts which usually precede the cry of “Get a room”. You know.

#SaveItForTheBedroom

5. NO feet on the seats and no kicking of aforementioned seats. It gets real annoying.

#FloorSpaceIsYourSpace

6. NO shoe removal. It shouldn’t need to be said but unfortunately it does. Do it at home only.

#TheseBootsAreMadeForWearing

7. NO Slurping. There is no need to noisily slurp  the ice remnants at the bottom of a 5 litre Pepsitankard.

#OnlyPerpsSlurp

http://thecourieronline.co.uk/editors-word-14/

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